every once in awhile there comes a time when you put your life and mind on pause and come to reconnect with the influences that have put you where you are today... to just come back down to reality of how it all started and how your future will become.
the past predicts your future your future reconnects your past.. its all a big circle..
i still remember when he told me about the circles in life.. and how such a simple theory makes so much sense in how you determine your life.
"take two steps back before taking a step forward"

i also wish we all experienced it at the same time so at this time next year we can be pretty happy with the choices we made with all experimenting of youth aside and just enjoy the growth of your spiral of life.

....i believe we will realize what real happiness truly is to us..

i miss just talking with my friends till 12 in the morning about everything you used to do and everything there is to come. just to still have the feeling that they can be your stability through periods of absents.

tonight i feel satisfied with how the day has gone... and tomorrow i will take it one day at a time..

cest la vie..

my heart to you has fallen...
i always here you calling..
but i pretend it was a cricket singing in the wind..
what is balanced of this relationship to you?

i love
i write
i giggle
in spite
i love again
then dream of you
i write again thinking of you.....
i read to you the depths of my soul..
then run away sheeply
the flame is burning
emotions raw
we really came this far....
then come the bumps
that we all ride....

i listen to the patterns ride
.....

then time just falls away....

lola myrtle

X.O.!

lets start new..
can i just erase the mildew?
let the positive fuel only flow through.
sha sha shaaaa


x.o.
be back soon.

it drives me crazy...
but no one said it would make me sane.

i love him and now there is no end...

sigh..

beck

i always find myself in dangerous situations.
surprised im still alive..

you lost me..
im gone.
i've held on for too long.
its a sea of waves out there.. and i wont get sucked into the waves.

its been awhile since someone has tapped into my secret side and you did it..
i became vulnerable and let myself open and you took and took till i was a dry pile of bones.
i dont hate you i just dont want someone like you in my life.. to take and run away when things become hard..

next time be careful with the words you say and make sure you can back it up with actions.. otherwise your digging yourself a watery grave.

i wish you well..

im done with relationships for a loong time..unless your worthy of handling everything that comes with this package i suggest you move along..
i can be your everything and everything you dont want all at the same time.

goodnight.

becks

not even skeptical...
feels like a fantasy
am i really alive?

soo someone get crafty with me... i gotta make gifts for christmas..

does happiness exist anymore?

i got a new kitten...well im getting her on friday
isnt she precious!!
i can only have female cats im allergic to males.. HAHAHA figures.




shes on the left awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

i hope i didnt make the wrong choice again..

fucking buzzzzzzzzzzzzzed!
i love my friends and my jobby :)

later

why because im fucking crazy!~

i think its time for me to get some more school too!

i love friends :)
that is all.

sometimes its hard to get used to yourself..

and this rain is needs to go!

sometimes i just want to give up... but i have too much will power to stop.
in the back of my mind i know theres a reason for this emotional pain.
its to learn to understand to accept to just live.

sometimes its just too much work.

<3 tata

i party too much
i love my friends
drunk.

goodnight sweet pieces of.....

<3

i cant sleep!!! i havent been awake this long since 2003... oh man!

** last night was fun... i sort of blocked out the reality of the whole thing by drinking tons o liquor..
many people seemed real frustrated..
many seemed happy...
it was emotional..
and i think that was the whole point..

if anyone has any pictures please dont hold back send them mah wai! :)

then the "after party" was awesome.. got to meet new people and hardy laughs all around haha meow!
it was great..
i needed that i sort of feel my mind frame has evolved once again.. ahhh and it feels gewd...

well i need sleep...

tomorrow we will bake cookies!!!! AHHHAhahah!

laters lovers snippers half baked midwifes..

<3 beckstah!